White Flag
by asparagus
Summary: Jack cannot move on. [Slash]


Title: White Flag  
  
Author: asparagus  
  
Email: asparagus@iamwasted.com  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Summary: Jack cannot move on.  
  
Spoilers: Pirates of the Carribean  
  
Warnings: Slash (J/W), Implied (W/E), Angst, Mild Language  
  
Disclaimer: I have no claim on the movie "Pirates of the Carribean". In no way whatsoever am I profiting from this fictional piece - unless it's an ego boost from any comments you people deem worthy of sending my way. I also do not own Dido's song "White Flag".  
  
White Flag  
  
*****  
  
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,   
  
I'll tell you that.  
  
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it   
  
where's the sense in that?   
  
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder   
  
Or return to where we were   
  
Well I will go down with this ship   
  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
  
There will be no white flag above my door   
  
I'm in love and always will be   
  
*****  
  
Jack looked out at the open ocean spread before him. Port Royal was miles away and with it, his heart. It was ironic in a way. He had never considered himself the type to fall in love. He had long thought it reserved for the young and the foolish. And he wasn't young anymore and -Captain- Jack Sparrow was anything but foolish. Yet, somehow one rash youth was able to spin his world around. He didn't know why he loved Will Turner. He just knew that he did.  
  
It started with that night on Tortuga. He had propositioned the boy as a joke. After all, his preferences weren't strictly restricted to the fair sex. Months on a ship with an all-male crew did that to sailors. But, when Will accepted, no one had been more surprised than Jack. It was a night that left him longing for more. And with each one spent in the other's arms, he fell a little more. Of course, he remained oblivious to that until their first time at the Isla de los Muertos. After he'd been knocked unconscious and left behind, he could not help but feel betrayed. It showed where Will's heart lay as well as where his own was. What kind of thief doesn't notice when one of his possessions goes missing?  
  
The Captain Jack Sparrow kind it seemed.  
  
So, he loved Will, and Will loved Elizabeth, and Elizabeth...well, she loved Will, too. He couldn't help but wish that the damn girl had loved Norrington instead so that he might at least have had a chance with the boy. But, luck was just as fickle as love. Just when he realized he wanted more than the Pearl, he had her back and lost what he wanted. Now, Will and Elizabeth were happily married and he was left with what he thought he'd wanted. A ship, an able-bodied crew, a life of pillage and plunder... The ideal pirate's life. And it's not that there was anything wrong with that. But, now he wanted more. He wanted a warm body in his bed when he reached out and not the cold sheets. He wanted a First Mate not afraid to question him, a man-boy who insisted on doing stupid things that could get himself killed.  
  
He wanted that...but he wasn't going to get it and he wasn't about to try. Will was happy now. He had saved the damsel in distress and married her despite the overwhelming odds. With Swann's patronage, he was sure to make a name for himself as a sword maker and not just a simple blacksmith. Will was content with that and Jack was not selfish enough to mess things up just to try and get what he wanted - especially when he probably still wouldn't get it.   
  
*****  
  
I know I left too much mess and   
  
destruction to come back again   
  
And I caused but nothing but trouble   
  
I understand if you can't talk to me again   
  
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"   
  
then I'm sure that that makes sense   
  
Well I will go down with this ship   
  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
  
There will be no white flag above my door   
  
I'm in love and always will be   
  
*****  
  
No. He could never return to Port Royal. Not with his reputation as a pirate and the recent fiasco on the Isla de los Muertos. If ever he set foot on that port again, Norrington would have him clapped in irons and set for an appointment with the hangman before you could say Davey Jones. Nothing personal, just business. In fact, he had to admire the Commodore. The man had principles first of all. And although it usually wasn't to Jack's benfit, the man stuck to what he believed in. Giving the Pearl a one-day headstart was another thing.  
  
So, Jack hadn't been lying when he told Norrington that he'd been rooting for him. Though, of course, it mainly had to do with Elizabeth having her claws sunk in Will. She had them in so deep that despite all Jack's efforts, he hadn't gotten those few nights to mean anything to Will but a mere fling. Now, Jack may have had a bad reputation with women, but he'd thought that when it counted he could make it work. Clearly, he had underestimated his rival. Once they'd rescued Elizabeth from Barbossa, Will was back at her beck and call. He hadn't needed to say it was over. His actions said just as much. Will's amusement at his eccentric behavior was now the most attention Jack could ever receive from the other. And that indifference hurt. He could have dealt with uncomfortable silences and tense moments, but this... This was a situation he didn't know how to deal with. Being marooned on an island...waiting to be hanged...fighting with undead pirates... He could handle that. But, to be treated like some two-cent whore... Sometimes, he wished he could be mad at Will.  
  
When Will had defended him from Norrington, his hopes had returned. He'd thought he had a chance. Norrington was engaged to Elizabeth after all. Maybe he and Will could escape and try again. But then, the damn bitch had said her piece and reclaimed the boy as hers. So, he'd been left to return to the Pearl alone. Yet, even after all the proof that Will didn't feel the same, Jack still couldn't let him go. So much for his reputation of being a shallow, money-grubbing pirate whose first and only concern was for his ship. Screw that.   
  
*****  
  
And when we meet   
  
Which I'm sure we will   
  
All that was then   
  
Will be there still   
  
I'll let it pass   
  
And hold my tongue   
  
And you will think   
  
That I've moved on....   
  
Well I will go down with this ship   
  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
  
There will be no white flag above my door   
  
I'm in love and always will be   
  
*****  
  
Still, Jack believed that Will was half-pirate no matter how hard the boy denied it. The sea also called to him and one day he'd have to answer it. Jack would be there that day. He'd take Will on as First Mate and pretend he'd forgotten everything as well. Each time they'd set out he'd watch Will's back even though each time they'd sail back in, it would be to Elizabeth that Will would go. He would still have a part of Will that way. And it would have to be enough for Jack wasn't one who could just let go. 


End file.
